Consequences!

My feelings and emotions drive me to make my everyday decisions... This is me!Though this is not what I wanted to be me!

I met a guy who at first I thought would just be my best friend! It started with just a yes click and a match me and we ended up to be friends.  I was upset then by the so many uncontrollable things happening in my life and it seems everything is not just falling into place.  He gave me a couple of advices to keep me running and we just exchanged unending messages till we realized we're starting to fall for each other.  An unbelievable day which I thought would just end right there and then.  But those days were followed by non-stop messages and phone calls.... sounding smiles and laughter every time we hear each other's voice.  My world stops every time I receive a message from him and my heart beats really fast when I hear his voice.  It's amazing how he always make my day right and easy.  My life for that moment is just because of him.

Everyday seems to unfold a different story every time i think about the CONSEQUENCES of all these.  Yes, things are a bit complicated and everyday is always a challenge.  Everything seems to get more difficult every time we love each other more... everyday is a pot of tears every time I think of the times he's not with me... everyday is hell every time I can't be with him and everyday is lifeless without him.  All these I know is the consequence of what I have chosen to do.  A choice that I never thought would put me into so much pain and distress. 

Believe me... pain is useless every time I hear him say how much he wants to take care of me and love me. His words are just soothing to my ears and it makes me want to try more... it makes me wanna bear the pain more... all because I love him so much and the love is just incomparable with the pain I feel within. 

But how much time would I still need, to bear the consequences of being just the second best??? How much more would I need to bear to make things right! 

Shall the CONSEQUENCES persist???