Fearful Destiny!

This day was a revelation for me...

             the very first time I felt so afraid about my destiny.....
             the very first time I felt I can't do anything but wait....
             the very first time I said to myself that "this is just the start"....

 I knew that this would really happen...but I never thought that I would really felt this sad about everything! 

This is the start of the so many challenges that would come our way.  Challenges that at first would test our relationship...challenges that I hope can make us love and take care of each other even more.

I am really afraid not because I cannot commit... I am so afraid not because he's too far... I am so afraid not because he will look for someone else...

I am fearful that time will come that destiny will not be for the both of us. I can't help but cry... cry so hard because I felt helpless!

I want to take care of him and make sure that everyday will be the happiest exciting day he can have with me.  I want to love him more than anyone else can love him and I want to make him choose to love me every minute of everyday.   But this time, I felt that praying  is my only option... pray that time will come that I will no longer hope to be with him but I will really be destined to love and take care of him forever.

No one knows how much I love you... and will always truly love you the way I know how to.  And forever I will wait and fight for this feeling.  Someday I will no longer be fearful, but instead I will be fearless because I will be yours forever and you will be mine eternally.

I will make sure we will be destined to be together!

HANDA KA NA BANG SUMUGAL?

HANDA KA NA BANG SUMUGAL?

Lahat ng tao sa mundo ay naghahanap ng pagkakataong makahanap ng mamahalin at ng taong magmamahal sa kanila ng lubos at buong-buo.  Sabi nila, ang buhay ay parang isang malaking Quiapo... maraming magnanakaw at snatchers...kailngan ay matuto kang makipagagawan at makipaglaban.  Kailngang marunong kang maghanap ng taong pagkakatiwalaan at handa kang sumugal ng buhay sa buhay.  

Noon pa man ay matibay na ang aking paniniwala na wala ng lalaki sa mundo na handang sumugal at magpatalo sa ngalan ng pag-ibig.  Yung tipong handang isuko ang lahat para sa taong minamahal, yung handang tanggapin ang lahat ng sasabhin ng iba...mapatunayan lang na mahal ka nya, yung tipong di iindahin na matawag syang tanga basta alam nyang nagmamahal sya.  

Ang alam ko lang wala ng lalaki sa kasalukuyang panahon ang gustong sumunod sa yapak ni Rizal, na handang magpaka martyr at magpabaril sa Bagongbayan.  Ang alam ko lang, wala ng lalaking handang sumugal para lang sa pagmamahal.  

NAGKAMALI AKO... kinailangan ko makilala ang isang taong nagpabago ng aking paniniwala upang mapatunayan na may mga makabagong Rizal na hanggang ngayn ay nanatili pa.  Isang taong tuluyang nag bago ng aking buhay, paniniwala at kapalaran. 

Sa pagkakataong ito... ako na ang nagtanong sa aking sarili... 

HANDA NA BA AKONG SUMUGAL?

KELAN NGA BA KAILANGAN SUMUGAL?

Ang sagot.... walang tamang panahon at pagkakataon.  Ang pagsugal ay walang pinipili at walang pinapanigan.  Ang pagsugal ay nagsisismula sa pagkakataon na ang isang tao ay nagdesisyong magmahal.  Wala naman kasing sigurado pag nagmahal ka.... hindi mo sigurado kung ,mananalo ka o matatalo.  Ang alam ko lang, ang importante sa pagmamahal ay ibinigay mo lahat... lahat lahat na parang wala ng bukas! Magmahal ng todo-todo na parang walang preno.  Ung tipong kahit mabigo ka, walang halong pagsisisi dahil hindi ka sumugal.  Alam mo na sa huli nagmahal ka lang at ano man ang iyong pinatalo sa sugal na pinasok mo ay maipagmamalaki mo pa ding hindi ka nagkulang at ginawa mo ang lahat.  

Dahil diyan buong tapang kong sasabihin na kaya kong sumugal... tumaya at magpatalo kung kailngan para minsan man lang sa panahong iniliaan ko para sa iba ay naging masaya ko at nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataong magmahal.  Isang pagsugal na handa akong makipag- laban at makipag-agawan  hanggang sa huli, at sisiguruhin kong ipapanalo ko ito ano't ano man ang mangyari.

 

My one and only best right choice

My one and only best right choice...my baby!

 I already gave up believing that fairy tales are true...I already gave up aspiring that my prince will come soon...and most of all, I already gave up dreaming that there is still a happy ending!  

I've been through a lot and I would not want to fight the same battle over and over again.  But I never realized that my quest for happiness was never over until I found the only best right choice I've had in my life.  

My confession...

 I would have to admit that I never thought that he can be that dream I've been waiting for all my life.  He was just an ordinary guy, just like any other man you can see around.  I never saw something really special about him at first...and my intention of really asking him a very ignorant question is to make him realize that he just posted the most desperate tagline one can ever read.  

But that desperate question really blew me away.  

True enough that it paved way to the most memorable times of my life with this ordinary guy. 

 This guy which I thought is just any other man turned out to be the most special guy one can ever have in her life.  I never had dull conversations with him though at times we argue and we debated... I can still see that he had so much to offer, very sensible, smart, outspoken and yet very courteous.  His passionate love for his job, his people and his family are my most admired qualities of him.  He is persevering and definitely a risk taker not only for choosing me but also trusting his all in the name of love.  

He is the sweetest guy I've ever known, he always has his way to make me feel special and to let me know how much he loves me.  He has this charm and appeal that makes me really fall for him badly.  His eyes are more than the reflection of his kind soul and his ways have never failed to impress me every minute of everyday. 

All these describes only one great man who made my imperfect life complete and simply the best I can imagine.  He is my one and only best right choice... my baby Dinden!  

He is a dream come true for me... He is the one I've been waiting for my whole life through.  

Baby...I know that we have been thinking of a very nice song to describe our love for each other...maybe we have not found it yet but I guess, this song would simply describe how I felt for you and how I look at you as a part of my life.  

 

Another day passes by, I'm dreaming of you,
And though i know it might be just a dream, dreams come true,
Somewhere, somehow I'll find you even though it takes all of
My life
And when i finally do
I know inside my heart

That there could be no doubt, i knew it from the start

You are the one
That I've been searching for my whole life through,
You are the one that I've been looking for
And now that i have found you,
I''ll never let you go, I'll hold you in my arms
You are the one

Another night spent alone
I'm lying in the dark

I don't know your name
But i know your voice sings to my heart

A sweet melody, a symphony of love

I know that come one day
I time for you and me

To finally be together, cause i know we're meant to be

Forever's a meaningless word
Even though you're here with me
Here by my side, here in my heart
 

I'll never let you go I'll hold you in my arms

You are the one
That I've been searching for my whole life through,
You are the one that I've been looking for
And now that i have found you,
I''ll never let you go, I'll hold you in my arms
You are the one

Cause you are the one, you are the one

As the song says...

"I will never let you go...I'll hold you in my arms.."

Distance placed us apart from each other but I'll make sure that I will never make you feel that we are not together.  I will never get tired reminding you how much you mean to me and how much I love you.   

 I will forever thank and praise God for giving me you as the greatest blessing in my life.

He never ever failed to show me the way to happiness... 

He showed me the way towards you.

Thank you baby for being part of my life. 

 I want to spend my lifetime loving you and taking care of you.

Coz there is one thing I am sure of....  

You are the one baby!!! 

You are my prince, my forever and my happy ending!